You may be nervous about what everyone will say when you aren't sipping a cocktail all night long, but truth be told, after the party gets going no one will be paying much attention to what's in your glass. Arrive a few hours later than normal and everyone will already have started drinking for the evening and will be paying much less attention to you.

Just in case that's not an option, here are 4 quick tips to help you have fun and enjoy your New Year's Eve without telling everyone why you aren't drinking this year. 

1. Volunteer to be the designated driver. You'll be everyone's favorite friend and no one will be the wiser.

2. Put a lime in it! Fruit juice with a garnish suddenly resembles a mixed drink.  You can drink as many as you like and no one will even notice.  Check out this quick Momarita recipe for mixing yourself a fun non-alcoholic drink.

3. Become friends with the bartender. Let them in on the fact that you need to abstain from alcohol this year, but want to look like you have a fun cocktail. They can blend up some great concoctions for you and even you won't miss the alcohol! 

4. Enjoy some sparkling grape juice for that New Year's Eve toast.

 Since you'll be the sober one at midnight, maybe you'll decide this is the perfect time to announce your pregnancy (OR NOT)!

Let's talk about the top fears in childbirth and how to overcome them.

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People search the words, "How much pain is normal during birth?" Or they ask their community those questions? Sometimes well meaning people in your life want to fill you with horrible tales of their births causing you even more fear or anxiety about giving birth or they may tell you it was the easiest,  most beautiful thing in the entire world.  Just let yourself go and experience the pleasure of labor and birth!

The real answer is everyone experiences childbirth in their own unique way and every single birth is different.  There is a lot more births that happen somewhere in the middle of those two statements than at either extreme.

How to you overcome the fear of pain in childbirth? 

You can work to overcome this fear by having a basic understanding of labor and birth. Learn some basic information about how your body works. How your cervix opens or the basic steps of a cesarean birth. A childbirth educator can assist you with this information. Choose a class that talks openly about the options you prefer.

Learn your options for comfort and pain relief. Do you want to learn comfort techniques? How to move with labor? How to relax (and what that even means in labor)? Learn what a support person can do to assist you. Will you choose a doula (a trained support person)? Learn about medications that can help you and how to choose what is best for you and when it may be most beneficial for you personally. 

Keep in mind that you are different from everyone else. Don't let someone tell you their way is the only "safe" or "best" way. 

Have a plan but also have an open mind. Sometimes labor moves faster or slower than our original plan. Sometimes there are unexpected issues that come up. While having a plan is key, realizing that your labor may not go according to plan is also important. This brings us to our next fear.

Control can be such a loaded word. Is it good? Is it bad? How does control even work in labor and birth? Who's even in control?

Ideally, most people want to have control in their options. You want to be able to decide what positions you would like to be in during labor, how you can move, what you can wear. These are important things.  Most people really want to be heard in labor. This is valuable! You get that control by having knowledge over the options your birth place and your care provider regularly offer. Have conversations with your provider to find out common practices. Take the hospital tour to learn your options at the hospital. Know if there are showers or tubs to utilize and what exactly that means. Learn the check in procedures for your hospital. This helps you with your options and gives you control over your labor.

You can't control the labor itself, though. Your baby may have different ideas. While most labors and births follow the standard curve, some labors and births require medical assistance that was not in in the plan. 

Having an understanding of various options in these situations is important, too, even if that was not your plan. 

Some people are concerned about what others may think of them during labor. What will my sister or best friend think? What about my partner? Will they still find me attractive after they see me give birth? What about the nurses? What will they say or think? 

These are real fears many many people experience.  Decide who you will and won't tell when you are in labor. Who will be invited to your birth? You do NOT need to invite everyone in your family or close friend circle. You don't even need to tell everyone you are in labor! Be firm and set boundaries. Expect people to be supportive of you in your labor. If they can't be supportive, they can wait in the waiting room or go home. 

Your partner loves you and probably has their own fears surrounding childbirth. They are watching the person they love do something that is scary and unknown and they aren't able to "fix' it. Have open and honest communications both before and after the birth. Have them focus on you and your face and not your body. Most of the time partners aren't even aware of all that is happening because of their own feelings. Again a childbirth educator and doula can help your partner understand the birth process so they are more supportive in whatever way that might look for them. 

Nurses and care givers and seen and heard everything!  They know what birth looks and sounds like. They don't get to judge you because it's not their labor. Plus, you probably will never see them again.

This is a hard and emotional topic. If you have given birth before and it was scary or overwhelming or you needed emergency medical assistance, you may have these fears. Again, you may have heard stories of loved ones or friends that had those experiences. 

Nearly everyone is afraid. Nearly everyone is nervous. Learning your options and being flexible are important, but what if it goes beyond that? What do you do if it's taken over your life?

It is so very important to seek therapy or counseling prior to your birth. Find someone that is trained and familiar in birth to assist you. While doulas are there to help you with emotions  surrounding your birth, they are not trained therapists. Get referrals and plan ahead. Have supportive people with you. Discuss your fears with your care providers and discuss options for you. Some people may opt to have a planned cesarean birth because the fear of their birth the last time is too strong. Only you can make these personal decisions. 

Many people believe that childbirth classes are only for those planning or hoping for a medication free birth. Depending on the class you choose this may not be true! While some classes cater to those wishing to have medication free births, other classes provide information for those planning or considering epidurals for their labor and birth.

Maybe you feel:

• others in the class may judge you and your choices
• you don't need to have all the fancy comfort measures down
• aren't interested in learning natural alternatives to pain medication
• only want the basics of birth
• concerned about hearing "scare tactics" of epidurals in class

There are classes out there for those families that wish for any reason that medication is part of their birth plan without trying to change your mind.

As you are reading childbirth class descriptions, understand the terminology used by teachers.  Classes with "natural childbirth" may have more information for those wishing to birth without medication which is what some teachers/families call "natural childbirth". Some child birth professionals (educators and doulas) define it to  mean that no unnatural substances will be used (medication included). Classes with "informed decision making" may be heavy into information. Some of these classes may believe you must hear all the information on a topic to make an informed decision about what is right for you and your baby. While some people love every bit of information possible other people feel it is overwhelming and makes laboring have a right and wrong way.

Some classes with these descriptions may make it seem that your doctor is against you.

A supportive, nonjudgemental childbirth education class will cover topics including:

• The basics of labor and birth
• How to decide when to leave for the birth place
• What to pack in your birth bag
• How to best work with your care team
• Positions and comfort measures both before and after medication
• Information on medication delivered in a nonjudgemental manner
• What to expect at the hospital
• How to make the best decisions for your birth when presented with options from your care provider.

All in all, read class descriptions carefully. Ask teachers for more information to pick a class that is suitable for you and your birth plan.

Interested in discussing childbirth education options offered at Birth: Before and After? Contact us today.

Let's face it:  Sometimes we miss that occasional drink during our pregnancies.  We can still enjoy ourselves and hold a great looking glass with a YUMMY non-alcoholic version of our favorite drink!

This post will kick off our weekly "celebrate the weekend" blog posts through April.

Each week we will have a recipe for a wonderful cocktail you can enjoy during your pregnancy!

Mamarita
(Makes one)

1 oz agave nectar (check with the natural sweeteners at your local grocery store)
1/2 oz freshly squeezed lime juice (about 1 lime if you don't want to measure)
1 oz orange juice
3 oz limeade (either purchased or make your own check the mixer section at the grocery store)
Lime wedge for the rim
coarse salt for the rim

Mix the lime juice and agave nectar in shaker
Add orange juice, limeade and ice
Shake well
Strain into margarita glass with salted rim or blend if preferred 
Add lime wedge for garnish

Enjoy!

• Swim!  Anything from the kiddie pool in the backyard to the public pool is a great option.  Floating in the water can absolutely feel wonderful!
• Enjoy some ice cream or a popsicle. These treats aren't just for kids. 
• If you have older children, now is the time to enjoy that air conditioned play place. Whether it's a quick trip to McDonald's playland or the local children's museum. Hot days are a great time to visit.
• Don't cook! Get creative with meals. Think salads or even less work...takeout!

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 Here are some great tips for eating better when you have no time, are sleep deprived, and are holding a newborn for hours a day.

It's hard to decide what to eat when you haven't shopped for a week and are digging through the cabinets at 4:00pm when you haven't eaten anything that the toddler didn't discard!

Have a plan.

Make easy grab and go snacks and lunches ahead of time.  Think of pre-washed fruit, ready made salads and sandwiches.
Store ready to go snacks in single serve containers.  Think of items that are easy to reach in the fridge and eat with one hand while feeding the baby with the other.


If the idea of sitting down and developing a menu plan overwhelms you, hire help!

Choose one of the many menu planning services out there.
Grocery shopping sound completely overwhelming? Look into grocery delivery services or complete meal service.
Contact  Birth:  Before and After to assist you with shopping, snack and lunch prep by scheduling a postpartum visit.

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When people hear the word "postpartum" many automatically think of postpartum depression.  There's more to your postpartum than just mood.

Your postpartum period can be defined as:

Physically
The time after your deliver your baby until your reproductive organs return to the pre-pregnancy state in five to seven weeks.

Emotionally
Adjusting to the new "normal" life while bringing a new baby into the family unit.  

The emotional adjustments can take far longer for some new parents than the physical adjustments.

How can you best plan for both the physical and emotional adjustments after the birth of your child?  

Postpartum Planning Sessions!

Birth:  Before and After will work with you individually to help you develop the best plan for you and your new family during the postpartum period.

You'll have a completed plan to be able to put into place immediately after your birth to include:

• meal planning
• mood guides
• basic postpartum wants and needs of new parents
• resources you might want or need
• options for hiring postpartum help
• quick sanity savers for when nothing else is working
• tips on getting enough sleep
• information on developing your preferred parenting styles and philosophies
• and more

Contact Deb at Birth:  Before and After to schedule your personalized postpartum planning session.  As always we offer nonjudgmental support for your birthing and parenting decisions.

Sessions can be scheduled at Birth:  Before and After in downtown Elmhurst or in your home.
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Here's why you might want to consider taking a private childbirth education class:

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Private classes can be scheduled with Birth:  Before and After at your convenience. Classes can be scheduled for daytime, evening or weekends.  Classes can also be held at our office in Elmhurst or at your home. 
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You can pick and choose topics of interest to you. Do you have a special need? VBAC? Planned cesarean? Planning on utilizing pain medication or an epidural?  Planning on having a medication free birth? Private classes will fit your individual needs. You won't be spending 4-10 weeks or more learning things you do don't want to learn.  Is visualization your thing and you want to practice several different styles? GREAT! We've got you covered! Are you no nonsense and just want the facts? GREAT! We've got you covered for that, too!
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Wait, what?? Sometimes in group classes you feel like you are the only person like yourself there which can be uncomfortable. Do you have a room full of people planning a home birth and you are planning a hospital birth? Are you the only same sex couple in class? The only single person in class?  That list can go on and on. In a private class you don't need  to worry about that because it's all about you and your preferences. There is no judgement. You'll be met where you are and get the information that truly matters to you.
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Have a time crunch? Maybe you just decided to take classes at 38 weeks and don't have time for a long series. Maybe you or your partner work long hours and a series or even all weekend class just doesn't work. Without several other students in the class, the material covered goes much quicker because it's only what you want.
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There are no embarrassing questions in childbirth education. With a private class, you don't need to be concerned about asking in front of a room full of strangers.
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Interested in finding out more about Birth:  Before and After's childbirth education? Contact us at Deb@birthbeforeandafter.com or call us at 815-867-0087.

With our individualized approach, you guide your birthing plan your way.  From innovative, specialized labor and delivery services, including midwifery care at Elmhurst Hospital, to private birthing suites, deluxe family amenities and highly equipped nurseries, our Family Birthing Centers combine state-of-the-art technology with personalized expert medical care wrapped into the comforts of home.

This isn't your mother's pregnancy circle. The Elmhurst Area Pregnancy Mix and Mingle gathers for a special mom-to-be mocktail of the month and appetizers to make friends and get to know others with similar due dates. There is no judgement here whether you plan to birth with an epidural or planned cesarean or choose a medication free birth. We eliminate the mommy wars and enjoy meeting others who either choose to work or stay at home.  Some of these in person events will be purely fun, others will have topics to learn and explore.  Check out upcoming events at Meetup.com. 

Birth:  Before and After offers individualized childbirth education and postpartum support for the modern family through a variety of classes and one-on-one support. We offer nonjudgmental support no matter your birthing and parenting preferences.  

Achy, Sore, Radiating, Numb, Leaking! These are all words that many women describe as feeling during or after pregnancy.  These symptoms are often accepted as a "new normal".  While the feelings are common, it's not normal and help is available.  Our personalized treatment plans incorporate physical therapy, education, and exercises to help patients restore health and wellbeing. Call Vitality Woman's Physical Therapy and Wellness if you are pregnant or postpartum and experiencing discomfort or difficulty moving.

Kate Jensen is a Licensed Professional Counselor who works in private practice in Elmhurst and surrounding areas.  Kate specializes in perinatal (both pregnancy and postpartum) anxiety, mood disorders and prenatal loss. Kate also specializes in family and relationship counseling surrounding transitioning bringing a new family member into the home and other relationship areas as well. 

While many expecting families interview a care provider and a doula, many do not interview the placenta encapsulator they intend to hire.

Here is a list of important questions to ask your potential encapsulator and why you should be asking them.

What training have you had?

Training is important! There is so much more included in a great placenta encapsulation training than how to put a placenta on a dehydrator. A great class should include safety aspects of encapsulation, guidelines to follow, when the placenta should not be encapsulated, proper equipment and more.


Are you currently certified or pursuing certification? Why or why not?

This question also speaks about the training organization. Is there even a certification option?  If your encapsulator is choosing not to become certified that could be a red flag. Does the encapsulator not wish to follow the guidelines laid out by the training organization?  If there is no certification agency there would be no where to report a questionable encapsulator. 

Have you taken a bloodborne pathogen training?

Here's the flat out truth on this one. The placenta contains blood and your encapsulator better know proper techniques to protect her/himself and you from the dangers of cross contamination of blood from one placenta to the next and proper sanitation of equipment.

How do I know the pills I am getting are my own?

The only way for you to know for sure the placenta you get back is your own, is to keep it in your own possession. 

Does any of your equipment get used for personal use as well?

A professional encapsulator will have equipment and supplies that are only for the encapsulator's business. 

What safety precautions do you take?

Almost all encapsulators wear gloves, but are they covering their hair, so there is no chance of hair getting into your capsules? Are they wearing a mask, so that they are not breathing onto your pills? Are they wearing eye protection for bloodborne safety when working with the raw placenta? Are they taking all steps to ensure there is no cross contamination? 

How is the equipment being cleaned and sanitized?

The equipment must be handled with bloodborne pathogens (BBP's) in mind. Bleach (and a few other substances are BBP approved. While sometimes we aren't thrilled with the use of chemicals, this is the time it's a necessity for safety. 

Can I watch the process?

Why on earth ask this question?? You may or may not actually want to watch the process, but if the encapsulator is following all the safety precautions and doing everything correctly, why would they mind? It's a question that provides an additional layer of comfort for you (even if you know for sure you do not want to watch the process).

What kind of follow up do you have?

This is a nice little question. While many encapsulators leave you with,  "Well, you can call me if you have questions."  You should hear that the encapsulator will offer basic postpartum support and guidance while they are processing your placenta and have some pre-set check ins to make sure things are going smoothly for you.


Be assured that Birth:  Before and After welcomes all these questions and more!

Deb is a trainer for ProDoula's Placenta Prep and teaches the importance of each of these questions.

​Have questions?  Contact Deb via email or phone at 815-867-0087


Authored by Deb Pocica

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